Heya Cherrypagers, Wildcat here! Sorry that my weekly blog is late, I've been busy doing homework, playing with the dogs, training my pokemon, and having creepy dreams about meeting one of my teachers in a haunted amusement park........
Ah well, dreams put aside, the reason I've had time to do all these things is that my school has a five-day weekend this week!!!!!!! (It's cuz we got parent-teacher conferences.) Be jealous!!!!!! BE JEALOUS!!!!!!! So, this week's blog is about the pros and cons of different dog breeds.

1. German Shepherds
These dogs are NOT NOT NOT the vicious animals everyone says they are. They're smart-too smart. Mine, Romeo, taught himself to unlock a low gate at the age of 2 months. When he was 6 months, we built a whole new gate that's about a foot taller than I am, aka, roughly six feet. He figured out how to JUMP UP and unlock it. We put on a lock that is physically impossible to open without opposable thumbs. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT get a German Shepherd if you value your shoes. Particularly flip-flops. Unless, of course, the dog is already trained, in which case you should be fine as long as you are trained.

2. Golden Retriever
Ah, the Golden Retriever. Mindless slobberers that they are, they make the ultimate family pet. Well, I may have exaggerated a bit. There are two categorys of Retrievers: the ones who WORSHIP you, and the ones who do it all for the food. My Golden, Riley, falls in the second category. No matter how friendly these ones seem, in the end they will abandon you for one little slice of cheese. Unless you have more. And yet we love 'em anyway....... That's humanity for ya.

3. The Long Haired Miniature Dachshund
This dog is a mouthful just to say, let alone spell. Now, I can tell you this: All Dachshunds suffer from multiple personality disorder. It's sad but true. Here are the personality's of my Dachshund, Roxie:
1. The Puppy
When in this personality, the dog is energetic, often shaking their favorite stuffed dog toy around like a crazed lion. They will play-growl and stand near you, shaking the toy and getting in the way until you play with them. OWNERS BEWARE!!!!!!!! If the dog wants something in this mood, she will get it. Dachshunds have the ability to pull out puppy-dog eyes that you'd have to be blind to resist.
2. The Warrior
Dogs can be scary in this mode. They will never hurt people, but will dash up to cats twice their size, barking furiously. Keep an eye on them in this mood- They can hurt themselves, as they are afraid of nothing.

3. The Guard Dog
They will not actually guard your house, but stay with their front paws placed firmly on the low sill of your front window, watching the passerby. If anyone comes up the walk-especially a family member- they will go nuts, running in between the door and window, barking like crazy and alerting the whole neighborhood that someone is coming to your house. Keep the dog in her crate when guests are arriving. That's assuming you don't want your neighbors to kick you out of town.

And now, some annoying advice to wrap up the blog:

1. Stare at static on the TV and claim that you can see a "magic picture"

2. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

3. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend"

4. Mow your lawn with scissors

5. Sing along at the opera.

That's all for his week!

This is Wildcat, signing out.